12 Reasons Nobody may Assist You Financially
Core principles I learnt by myself without a coach which you can leverage on.
When there are projects to do and it catches you up in frenzy like situation because finance is thronging as a big challenge. Probably you have reached out to your family or network of friends, yet everyone seems to turn you down. What could be the problem?
Sometimes, the situation isn’t a project — you are just broke, needing financial help. Why have you reached out to many people who could aide you for a little while and none seem to comply? Few months ago, I was in this uptight situation, and woefully, I was disappointed when I asked for help.
Trust me when I say situations as that could cause a brain lag.
After I saw that I was alone in my financial quagmire, I asked myself a few questions. Anyone that promised to assist me was only sharing a good wish, none did. The reasons I am about sharing with you right here were my discoveries why nobody was at my aide when I needed them most.
Believe me when I say simple knowledge as what I am about to share could make you attract favors like magic. Only if you could work on areas you can improve on.
Why you need to know this is because every day is unique and comes with its challenges and demands. That makes almost no one free at some point or another far from needing help which more likely would be financial.
Not getting financial help easily or at all could be caused by either your ‘fault factor’ or a ‘natural factor.’
That is exactly how I would categorize these 12 reasons no one is responding to your call for financial help whenever you call.
Your fault factor
1. You are not an asset
When you are with your close network, what do you always bring to the table? What are your suggestions and opinion like? You may think it's casual talks, but humans keep record more than you really can imagine.
Mind you, nobody is really going to path way with anything valuable (money) myself inclusive if we do not perceive you as an asset. I want value for every dime I am letting go.
These are the key questions that would likely run through the minds of anyone you are reaching out for financial help.
“Why would I give you this money if it has nothing to benefit me?” — Sorry, humans are wired to think about self if not tamed.
I believe anyone you are reaching out to for help should know you reasonably. Likewise, what you would likely make out from the help he or she would give you can be predictable.
Most times these benefits do not mean the returns. It isn’t and not always that, rather ‘what would you make out from the help.’
Thoughts like: ‘Even if my help does not meet up with the required demand, what could come out from it not minding the little?’
If these wonderings does not get the right answers, that money isn’t coming out.
If you are the type that is so interested and knows how best to consume resources, you have already left an impression in the minds of your family and friends that nothing they assist you with could come back or would it be used for what you are asking it for.
Imagine you asking me for help to meet with today’s need, yet I know you are not doing anything resourceful.
I rather excuse myself from starting what I know I cannot finish. No one in his/her right mind would appreciate spending on liabilities.
2. You gave the wrong impression(s)
Aside from presenting yourself as someone who is a perpetual consumer, you could have carried yourself wrongly.
You may always look richer than your true worth. I am not saying that you should appear shabby and problem-stricken. No, and never.
If you ask me for as little as $2, I may think you are joking if you always appear above $10. I would take it like you are probably trying to make a joke. And I may likely not help you out.
You might have sounded boastful at some point or often too. Your talk may always be more than your true worth.
This is a terrible impression and getting financial help may be like breaking the Carmel’s back, especially if you’ve ever done that before the one you seeking help from.
Another serious poor impression is making the person you are asking for help feel he or she is your only hope. Even if such was to be the case, do not dare to make it obvious.
Humans intentionally or unintentionally would become egoistic if you send that signal and they try playing ‘small gods’ with you. Yes, you have a need but still a worth.
There is a thick-thin line between being humble while requesting for what you want and acting as if “if you don’t help me, I would die” (very wrong signal).
Stop that! You can never die amid challenges unless you succumb to it.
3. You lack excellent presentation skills
You may genuinely be in need, but the person you are soliciting help from does not understand you. It’s like having a suitable case but being termed guilty because you didn’t present your case well.
Learn how to speak for help when you need it and where you need it. Let your request not be implied but direct.
I don’t think it is a bad idea telling me what you intend to do with the money you are asking me for.
4. You don’t know how to build/maintain relationships
“Help would not come from the moon. It definitely must come from the people you know already.”
But many people make the mistake of asking for one favor or another even before they’ve known you so well (I experience it a lot). Once they assume you are well to do, you would appear like a ‘money tree’.
It is very wrong to ask for financial help from strangers. They do not have a tie with you or know you so well to let go their resources. It scares them and only signals that you want to dupe them.
It would be easier to assist financially a friend than someone who only sees you like a ‘cash-out spot.’
Learn how to build effective relationships with people first — no matter how tempting or pushy your needs are before you met them.
Your needs are ever increasing daily, but a soiled relationship may become a colossal loss.
Stop the unpleasant habit of only chatting up or calling people when you always need to get something from them.
5. Pressured to promise
Most people have the habit of ‘emotionally blackmailing’ people when seeking help from them. You beg them with things that make them succumb till you’ve left them in a corner where they do not know how to say ‘NO’.
Subsequently, you notice them avoiding you.
What happened was just that you pressured them into making a promise that was never their intentions.
6. You haven’t put enough effort yourself
Tell no one that the money he/she is giving you is all you need to finance a project or sort things out. Whatever you may receive should be a ‘support’ and not a responsibility.
Let’s assume you met me with a $150 need and you approach me to say, “I have to sort out this thing of $150 but I just have been able to get $75.”
It sounds responsible to me, and I would be glad to assist you with the remaining $75 if I can without reservations. Rather than asking me for the entire fund like the help you need was my responsibility.
If you have ever read the bible, you would know that the miracle of multiplication only came when something was presented.
7. Your request isn’t prioritized
When you listen to some people’s request, it’s as if the person is intending to transfer his/her life needs to you.
One thing you should understand as someone requesting is this, “every human is meant to reach you at particular need in your life and not in everything about you.” If eventually he/she extends help in other aspects, then that’s just fine, but not compulsory.
It is only God Almighty that can meet every one of your need. No human can.
Prioritize your financial needs and present it accordingly so as not to scare who you are approaching for help.
8. You are in the wrong network
Recently in one of the group discussions I had recently, someone said this, “You should have a network of at least 5 friends who can path at least 10 bucks for you when the need arises.”
The amount he mentioned was for our level and what we could conveniently make away with, but I cannot quantify the amount — as much as the capacity of the network has grown to.
If your clique is as many as letters A to Z yet when you are in a financial need, none is coming to your aide, just know that you are in the ‘wrong zone.’
If such is usually your case, then you need to reevaluate your friends.
“A friend in need is a friend indeed.” — Old English proverb
9. You just haven’t asked
Importantly to note, “You haven’t opened your mouth yet.”
Some people’s ego won’t allow them to ask even if it is a death sentence. They are quite scared of the alpha reply, ‘no’ or seen as a pest. They already conclude nothing would happen even before they’ve asked.
Well, there is nothing wrong with asking for financial help when necessary. Never be intimidated to ask. Everyone is in one need or another from time to time.
The natural factor
10. It just had to happen
Well, sometimes when you have explored everything within your means and help seems not to be coming still; just know it is not your fault. You needed to understand another aspect of life — your need(s) never consumed you and never will it.
11. Risk
If you are making a promise to return the fund(s) you are soliciting, something tying to point 1 may be the reason you won’t get it — you are not financially credible.
Every single dime, someone worked for it and there should be a cogent reason to let it go. Instead of risking having issues with you or losing the friendship because the money would not come back, it is better they decline.
12. There was good intention but ‘uncertainty’ happened
Uncertainties are as natural as life itself.
Many a time, some people make you promises before the money they are expecting to come in arrives.
Possibly, they were emotional when you approached them for help. It may tempt them to make you a promise even before they get what to help you with.
However, when what to meet up with that promise they made you do not come, it leads to ‘disappointment’ from them.
When such happens, it is an uncertainty of life that can never be avoided.
Most of the tips listed go beyond seeking financial help. Understanding some of these pitfalls and improving on them can make you get the required help without feeling pressured or caught up in an awkward situation the next time you have financial need or any other need you might relate to at all.
